Accepting Fear Leads to Purpose

In my previous blog, I talked about using a method called Purpose Hunting in order to find my purpose. As began this process, I noticed whenever I would think about my purpose body with tense up and it felt like there was a solid stone from my stomach to my chest. I felt like I shouldn’t be talking about my purpose and that I should run away from it. I became frustrated. I thought is something wrong with me? My coach and mentor pointed out to me that this was my ego protecting me. And she had some real fears about finding my purpose.

In the book True Purpose, Tim Kelley says “Your ego’s resistance to knowing your purpose is the number one obstacle in this exploration [search for purpose]…Trying to overcome or ignore your fears will not work. Assuming that you don’t have any fears will not work…clearing a path to your purpose deals very directly with your fears.”

So when I got to the part of the process of talking to my ego, some of the things she was concerned with were:
If I live my purpose will I go broke? As the main provider of my family, and the main caretaker of my parents this was a nonoption for me.
If I live my purpose will I burn out grinding to make it happen? Being a business owner scared me. Especially the idea of having no company or organization to back you with a regular salary and benefits. I mean was already burnt out from my current job. And something that was more sustainable.
If I live my purpose will work be my everything? I mean I can’t lie work was already everything in my life. I didn’t want to continue to miss important moments and time spent with my family and loved ones.

When I finally confronted these fears that I had, instead of running away I sat with them. I did that over and over again. Over time I felt myself soften. I was more open and curious about my fears coming true. Then instead of the fear overwhelming me and keeping me stuck, I felt like I had a relationship with it. I was able to sit with what was on the other side of the questions.
I soon realized I didn’t need an answer to my fears. I needed a different relationship with fear. I needed to understand that my fear wanted to protect me, especially from a world that’s filled with white supremacist violence. So once I did that my ego was able to step aside I could feel and see my purpose more clearly.

So when you can clearly feel fear arise within you when you are in search of purpose ask yourself these questions:

• What fears do you have when you think about your purpose?
• Where is the fear located in your body?
• What are the sensations, behaviors, and messages that come up?
• What is the fear protecting you from?
• What’s the worst thing that could happen if that fear came true?

After you ask yourself the last question, pause and notice what arises. Focusing on what comes up allows you to be in a relationship with what your ego needs to be and stop resisting your purpose.

Remember as ancestor Thick Nhat Hanh once said “The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source.”

— Geordee